So, as it happens, my mother was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma (A very aggressive cancer of the lymph nodes in your body).

Terrific.

So I went and talked to my recruiter, and him being the great guy he is, has helped me out yet again by delaying my ship date, back from Dec. 18th so I don't know exactly when. I'll be home for X-Mas and New Years hopefully. I just need to stay home long enough to help mom out until she's better, and then I'm leaving.

Just wanted to update you all.

~Ian

Tabie,

I don't know if you even have this account, if you know where or what it is, or anything about it's existence, but either way I don't care.

I hate you.

You've fucking ruined me for relationships. I can't date anymore because I've always got the worm of distrust in my head, placed there in larval stages by you, and it has hatched throughout our time together and eaten away at my brain until I can't trust any girl not to fuck me up anymore.

Everytime I think about you I just think of the five words below.

....I hate you so much.

I pray you're as miserable as I am...one day.

I know sooner or later you're going to fuck everything up wth Eric the same way you and me fucked everything up...instead this time it'll be ALL your fault, and none of his, instead of our pretty little 50/50 split.

You're fucking heinous.  You couldn't trust me, so you had to go out and make sure I couldn't trust you. And then, when I tried to get a hold of you to tell you something...just to tell you one little thing, not even something important, or poignant....something I felt I owed to you though...you have the fucking gal to try and talk to me about your life problems and shit because "I understand you better than anyone"....?!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

How fucking dare you try and drop your shit on me. I had every right to shut you down there. What the fuck were you thinking. I couldn't trust you not to go out anf mess around with every kid in the neighborhood when we took our little breaks, so by the time we got back together after the one or two weeks or however long it was...you'd been back with Pat, been with Rob, been with Chris....how many more? Two-step? Nemcheck? Who the fuck else huh?

Fuck you. I'm not blaming you for my shortcomings....but my trust issue lies solely with you.

I hate you ssssoooo much.

~Me.